she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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