We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
