What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
