erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
