He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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