Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
