now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
