Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
