Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize