Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
