You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
