You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
