My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
