2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
