you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize