Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
