This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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