so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
