escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize