she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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