He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
