Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize