did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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