Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
