He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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