it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
