So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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