friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
