Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
