At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize