My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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