whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
