If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
