your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
