We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is not my ceiling
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
