whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
