honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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