does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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