have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
