I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize