i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
