You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
