he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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