Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
