what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
