It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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