your thong is hanging out like whoa
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
