butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
