My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
