Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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