I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
