I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Welp...herpes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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