Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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