Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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