Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
