You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
