also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
