belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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