we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
