Plan B is the new Plan A
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
