i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
