I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
