You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
