is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
