Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
