Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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